Music: She's Lost Control

It's certainly not an original pick for a Joy Division song, but I was finishing some work late last night (to blame for this late post), and 'She Lost Control' came on. It's a good song, even if I tend to avoid it because of how overplayed it can be, but this time, given my current teaching block is neurology, it made me pause.

Curtis was a well known epileptic, and contrary to popular belief actually wrote this song about a girl with epilepsy whom he saw fitting, and later discovered had actually died as a result of a seizure. His own condition being poorly controlled, I can't imagine how terrifying that was for him.

I had to tell a (simulated) patient on thursday that he had to give up the job that was keeping his family of six out of debt because he wasn't safe behind the wheel of his van. Like psychological illness - which Curtis also experienced - epilepsy is perhaps more frightening than any physical illness because it is your own brain turning against you; you are utterly alone. This is even before you factor in the stigma faced by patients, or the all the limitations placed on them. It's disabling and isolating, which really comes across in the song. I wish it could have gone better for him.




Fee

Personal Style: Dry Your Eyes

The results are in; for those not living in the UK or keeping up with its news, Scotland voted in their referendum on independence on thursday, and the vote was a no. I've been a yes supporter for a long time, and I was gutted; this issue means a lot, and I spent a fair chunk of the morning crying. Between this and a backlog of work, I've not had time for blogging. 

I took these photos maybe two weeks ago, but due to my disaster of a schedule haven't posted them until now. I'm a big fan of this jumper with everything in my wardrobe, but Dundee has been surprisingly warm and unsuitable for autumnal clothing, so it's been relegated to the top shelf for now. Maxis are also a favourite, and I've since picked up a skirt to sit beside this dress. 

When I was taking these photos, I could hear high pitched bird noises, and found that some pigeons seemed to be stuck behind a girder attached to the wall. I took pity on them and called the SSPCA, but when they arrived and called me apparently the pigeons had left and it must have been a nest I'd heard. Oops. 

I'm still feeling low post-result, but it not time to give up; 45% of Scotland is not happy, and I have to dry my eyes and join in. Yesterday was a day for mourning, but today we demand our politicians prove their accountability and give us our powers. Then, next generation, we try again. 

Fiona

P.s. I realise both my header and sidebar have gone down, and I apologise for this. This is clearly my fault for being a useless coder and will try and fix it today. (Edit: header is fixed, and I'll do the sidebar later today!)

Improbable longing: Silver leotard

Source.

First on my list of 'items so ridiculous I shouldn't want them, but really, really do'. Hell, if body suits are a thing, then why can't I wear a dance leotard out?

I've been planning my halloween costume recently (more on this come the end of October), and found this in my search for something I could modify. I take aesthetic delight in it beyond its role as a costume piece, and dream of using it as an actual part of my wardrobe in the way (IN)DECOROUS TASTE found that nude body suits are an absurdly practical staple. Polo necks have been surging through my wardrobe over the past half year and conquering ground as they go, and silver has been my go to accent for some time now. Though really, I would get it in black as well.

I'd probably wear this on a night out with big hair, a cropped jacket and obnoxious heels, because even if I wear it seriously doing so is still a crazy performance. Spaceman inspiration? I can't get enough.




Fee

Modelling: Viktoria Modesta Moskalova

Source. 

Disabled models - visible or hidden disability - are a rare sight on the catwalk, but what about a model who is not only open about her prosthesis, but fully embraces it?

Meet Viktoria Modesta Moskalova; this Latvian-born, London-based musician and model is in her words a literal 'bionic girl', wearing a prosthetic leg as the result of long term health problems. Rather than let this stop her from modelling, Viktoria makes it a key feature of her image, wearing Swarovski embellished and industrial-esque prosthetics in what is probably the most perfect 'fuck you' to the ableist nature of the modelling industry I've ever seen. If I had a girl crush, she would be it.

Source. 

Though her roots lie in London's underground fetish and alternative scene, Modesta has famously performed at the 2012 Paralympics closing ceremony, and has been featured in Bizarre, Skin Two, iD and Wonderland, as well as major newspapers such as the Times. As if that's not enough, she also DJs, hosts clubs, fashion events and collaborates with designers on both fashion and prosthetics, often producing a merging of the two. She represents a kind of frank and self-directed sexuality which is usually denied to disabled people, in her modelling - which she was involved in even before her amputation - as well as her own personal style and confidence.

Found on tumblr. 

Unlike the news articles which often talk of her 'overcoming adversity' she is relentlessly positive about her prosthesis, describing how it has 'added' to her and treating it as a fashion accessory, and believes her success "has been attributed to hard work and general determination in life – and not my limbs, real or not". She's also delighted to act as a conduit for the discussion of disabled beauty, however, though not personally identifying as such, stating of her performances, “It was really fascinating watching people’s reactions because most of them were speechless."


Though perhaps a future of widespread, voluntary body augmentation is still confined to science fiction, Modesta certainly challenges perceptions about disability and beauty.


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Fee

Sophistique Noir's monthly theme: make up

Hello all! As is evident by the title of this post, I'm taking part in Victorian Kitty's monthly themed blog challenge, which this month is on the topic of make up. Make up is something I'm utterly fascinated by; it has a kind of power in how it can so utterly transform one's face, which feeds so heavily into our concepts of beauty and self-perception. Though I enjoy make up and wear it most week days, I'm happy enough in my relationship with it that I don't 'need' it whenever I leave my flat, but I also don't think that those who do are worthy of disdain, or indeed that any all or nothing opinion is the best. My only advice would be to understand what you're using, I guess.

 I'd considered featuring my key make up products, but due to a) losing my favourite lipstick and b) needing to change my current foundation badly, that went out the window. I also considered a tutorial, but time constraints due to life events made this difficult.

Why hello there, natural hair texture.

Though I've expanded my make up repertoire significantly over the past year or so, I do have a bad habit of falling into the same comfortable styles; whilst I like my make up and know those styles suit me, recently I've been feeling like experimentation .

Adora Batbrat's make up is usually far beyond not only my skill level and lifestyle, but also what suits my face; this eye look was heavily inspired by one of her facebook posts, however, which attracted me because of the black, grey and dark red colour scheme (my favourite for make up). I've always been a fan of dots along the line of the eye (and have been incorporating them heavily into my make up recently), though the shape and block colour of the eyeshadow was very different for me.

Ben likes this one, though I'm not so sure.

The line of dots is very 'tribal' (god, I hate the use of that word), but the dark cat's eye called for some femme fatale glam to match; my earrings were a christmas present from my parents, and I will never get tired of a sleeveless polo neck. Illamasqua's liquid liner Scribe is fast becoming a favourite in my make up bag, and using it in the corners of the eyes is incredibly effective at opening the eye and stopping them looking too small, even with a very closed dark eye such as this. The lipgloss seen here is a temporary and disappointing replacement for my treasured Lord and Berry black-red, which I managed to lose in or around Edinburgh at the fringe. Rest in peace, baby.

Although I like this, I'm not 100% sure that it suits me; the eyeshadow should have been extended out from the corners further, and some white perhaps could have been used to highlight my brow. Nonetheless, it was fun trying something radically different from my usual, and I might reuse it. Obviously, it's more of an evening look; being me, I wore it during the day time anyway.

 

Has anyone else wondered about trying something radically different to what they're used to? Any foundation suggestions for a greasy blob like me? 



Fee