Music: She's Lost Control

It's certainly not an original pick for a Joy Division song, but I was finishing some work late last night (to blame for this late post), and 'She Lost Control' came on. It's a good song, even if I tend to avoid it because of how overplayed it can be, but this time, given my current teaching block is neurology, it made me pause.

Curtis was a well known epileptic, and contrary to popular belief actually wrote this song about a girl with epilepsy whom he saw fitting, and later discovered had actually died as a result of a seizure. His own condition being poorly controlled, I can't imagine how terrifying that was for him.

I had to tell a (simulated) patient on thursday that he had to give up the job that was keeping his family of six out of debt because he wasn't safe behind the wheel of his van. Like psychological illness - which Curtis also experienced - epilepsy is perhaps more frightening than any physical illness because it is your own brain turning against you; you are utterly alone. This is even before you factor in the stigma faced by patients, or the all the limitations placed on them. It's disabling and isolating, which really comes across in the song. I wish it could have gone better for him.




Fee